Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Sharing is caring ..

Sattler's HO Train & Hobby
Sattler's Ho Trains and Hobbies .. Ho Trains?! Wha? too funny ..

Sattler Theatre 14
Apparently, this is the Sattler Theater .. I couldn't find a photo with the name in it ..

Here is the outside ..
Sattler Theatre

1965 Gaffers & Sattler Ovens Ad
Love this!

Sattler, Texas
Sattler, Texas..


Monday, December 28, 2009

I fell off my name ..

ok .. blog post .. tried this a few times over the weekend, here we go ..

I am in sort of a light place and a dark place right now. Some hope was diminished but then some sprang up in a new place .. Let's vague that up, shall we?

I was on a creative streak and then something difficult happened and it just added fuel to the fire. Which is exciting finding inspiration in pain and darkness .. I just need to stop being afraid of the world and start being honest with myself ..

There is no better loss than to lose myself in you -Mute Math

Poke at my iris ..
There is one thing we've got going and it's the only thing worth knowing. It's got lots to do with magnets and the pull of the moon - Frightened Rabbit

I loved you before the winter came - Noddy

You stole my heart ..
Are we gonna have it out?
Are you gonna throw your punch?
Lose your pretty cool
Cause I will make you sorry
I'm gonna make you sorry

But, baby, I'm yours ..

Man Plus

Butterscotch Kisses ..
How the hell could I have guessed that you meant no when you said yes?
I am a fool for loving you ..
Man Plus

Worse for wear ..
To the times when it was quiet and all we could do was gaze at one another. At least it was quiet in my head. Now it is so fucking loud in here .. This is the storm after the calm.

Out of pain and sorrow, I make beauty with my bare hands ..

Some recent photos and song lyrics that have moved me .. Also, some poetry of my own .. I can't wait to go home and paint ..

oh and new hair color! You can't really see it here ..


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Death of me ..

Do I have nothing good left to say?
Do I need whiskey to start fueling my complaints?
People love to drink their troubles away.
Sometimes I feel that I'd be better off that way.

'Cause maybe then I could sleep at night.
I wouldn't lie awake until the morning light.
This is something that I'll never control.
My nerves will be the death of me, I know.
I know, I know.

So here's to living life miserable.
And here's to all the lonely stories that I've told.
Maybe drinking wine will validate my sorrow.
Every man needs a muse and mine could be the bottle.

Maybe then I could sleep at night.
I wouldn't lie awake until the morning light.
This is something that I'll never control.
My nerves will be the death of me, I know.

Finally, I could hope for a better day.
No longer holding on to all the things that cloud my mind.
Maybe then the weight of the world wouldn't seem so heavy.
But then again I'll probably always feel this way.

At least I know I'll never sleep at night. (Sleep at night)
I'll always lie awake until the morning light. (Til the morning light)
This is something that I'll never control.
My nerves will be the death of me.
My nerves will be the death of me.

My nerves will be the death of me, I know.

Monday, December 07, 2009

I wish I had more hair ..

I mean I wish it was thicker .. or that I had more .. well, it makes sense in my head ..

So ..

Good-bye beautiful Fall ..

fall ..

Autumn Martha ..

Hello harsh Winter ..

frosty ..
frozen tears .. I mean, dew ..

So it is freezing cold in Seattle .. No snow yet .. fingers crossed we don't get any for awhile .. Due to the fact I moved to a different part of town and am WAY farther from work, commuting will be a challenge in snow .. I need to map out a back way with not so many hills. It isn't as if I am not capable of driving in snow, I mean, I grew up in Montana. It is just that this city freaks out when it snows and they don't handle it well .. plus, you know , hills .. lots and lots of steep steep hills.

Had a good weekend .. Productive, very productive. Went to two holiday parties, the first was super fun .. Tracy made her apartment very festive complete with mulled wine and whiskey cider, I did not partake in either however. Took some classic photos though ..

Bro ..

I did A TON of cleaning and organizing, I even moved furniture to clean behind it. My bedroom closet is almost back in order, I was looking at it thinking, "Why are there so many empty hangers?" and then remembered I still have bags of clothes in Martha's car from our laundromat adventure a month ago. Ugh. So far I have a big box and two big garbage bags full for donation with a couple other things I put directly in the car. It feels good, very good, to have more room in my tiny house.

Oh! and I bought a new AWESOME purse at Atlas Clothing! I had to contemplate it beforehand but love it more everytime I look at it .. I will take some photos.

I am sneezy today .. allergies .. annoying ..

Tomorrow hopefully I will be taking a much needed walk around Green Lake with a good friend and maybe get some skate park shots ..

Here's hoping ..

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Is it naive to think I could be any comfort?

What is it that causes connections between people? How do you meet a stranger and feel as if you've known them your whole life? How is it that you could reconnect with someone after years of seperation and with no word in between but feel as if not a day had gone by?

Why do we crave people? Crave companionship, long for partnership. And yet on the flip side, some of us don't. Some of us can live independently and not rely on anyone, but others are crippled by lonliness.

Human chemistry, behavior and emotions can truly be a mystery.

I often wish I could understand how my mind works. Why I long for certain people and not others. Why I can be curled in dispair one minute and as high as a cloud the next. Why and if I have fallen prey to my genetic predisposition to want a substance to feel comfortable and normal.

I don't believe that any one person can be completely free of regrets. Yes, our decisions have put us where we are today and made us who we are today but there has to be at least one tiny regret somewhere in those decisions. Maybe I don't believe it because I have too many regrets.

I regret saying yes ..
I regret saying no ..
I regret doing this ..
I regret doing that ..

I think I know what my number one regret is however and it is something that can be mended. Something I can change in the immediate future. Maybe I will need help, maybe I won't. Maybe I am naive in thinking I won't need help.

weathered ..

Wow, this went in a totally different direction than I had planned ..

ah well .. at least I don't regret where it went ..